I don't want to think about it. I can't help it though. He says he feels trapped. He says he's felt trapped. Why? I don't know why! I've kept so much to myself because I didn't want that to happen again, but it's happened again, because I kept my promise. I told him how I felt. I told him I was sad. I told him about the problems I have at home. He knows about everything else in the past. It's adding up, and now this. My heart dropped. I want it to stop beating. I hold my breath, but I can't get myself to hold it long enough. So many things are going on in my head because it brings me back to the past, when he liked another girl. What if it's happening now? What if it's happening again? My heart is breaking. We're still together, but it's breaking, and I'm too weak to bring myself to say that I'm okay. My eyes feel heavy. I'm so tired. I just wanna sleep. I just wanna forget everything. I don't wanna be here. I wanna be happy.
I've heard several times that you have to go through this kind of stuff to be happy. But how long is this supposed to last? I've been sad for so long. There hasn't been a time where I can say I was truly happy. I just want everything to end. I just wanna smile. I just want things to look forward to.
I heard Heaven is a nice place.
Can I go now?
- Kristin
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Kristin,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, you have to go through this. I wish I could be there for you. I know it's a really difficult time in your life...but I definitely know you'll get through this. Regardless of what happens, honestly, you'll be fine. I know it's cliche and all but seriously keep your head up. You have friends that care about you. I CARE about you A LOT and I don't want you to be sad all the time. I'm worried and I think you should talk to your parents about what happened. It is important that you talk to someone about these things and not just keep it to yourself. If you keep this all inside...you'll just keep building up this heavy feeling that will make you emotionally unstable. FUCK everyone who hurt YOU! You are a strong person. You'll be fine. I promise.
no you can't kristin. you have too much of a nice smile and you give too much of a warm hug to go just yet. sorry hon. *HUGHUGHUG*
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